A Tale of 5 Teachers
by His Lil' Half-Blood Princess
Summary: One by one, the Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers came and went . . . and of course, Snape despised them all! One-shot.


_This one is so incredibly random. It's basically five pieces about each of the five DADA teachers and what Snape thought of them. Some are his thoughts, others are experiences with the teacher, and some are conversations with others. They all vary. The six section is Snape as the DADA teacher. IDK, I was bored, felt like coming up with something. Hopefully a bit interesting. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, so I can't put too much attention to my writing. Sorry._

_This is 19/20 summer one-shots. We are almost there. I have a goal of getting at least five reviews for the final summer one-shot. It would just be a great present for me, you know?_

_When my thoughts wonder off, they go to you, Velvet. This is for you._

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"Why did you even appoint Quirrell if you found him untrustworthy?" asked Snape, angrily. Dumbledore, who was reading his magazine, did not look up at him.

"That is none of your concern. I am merely asking you to watch him. Do not let your guard down around him."

Snape felt infuriated. "If it is none of my concern, as you say," he said, his tone deadly quiet. "Then why should I help you in watching you?"

"Because I think you capable of doing so."

Snape bit his lip in thought. After a few moments, he spoke again. "It's because of Potter, isn't it? You don't want Quirrell pulling anything off on precious Potter and you want me to watch him?"

"If you would like to put it that way, then yes. To be precise, I would also like the protection of all of my students, and not just Harry."

"I didn't promise to be your school's security guard, Dumbledore!" Snape snapped. "I only swore to protect Potter- and unfortunately, the stubborn brat doesn't know it . . . or else he'd be exceedingly grateful . . ."

"You told me not to breathe a word, Severus," said Dumbledore, matter-of-factly. "And I haven't."

Snape sighed and leaned against the wall. "It's better that way- all of them not knowing. I'd hate the attention."

"I'm sure that, if not the students, the rest of the staff would treat you in the same manner."

Severus gave a laugh. "I severely doubt that. Anyways, how should I watch Quirrell?"

"Oh, it isn't necessarily watching Quirrell. You need to make sure that he isn't doing anything to Harry and the rest of them. Keep a wary eye out, that's all. Especially at big events, you know, feasts, Quidditch games. I suspect Quirrell's first target will be Harry."

"But I don't understand," said Snape. "Why would stupid, stuttering Quirrell give a damn about Harry Potter? He isn't even brave enough to say a full sentence clearly, let alone murder an eleven year old boy!"

Dumbledore's mouth twitched. "Ah, Severus, he has his own reasons for hating Harry. Just like you."

A crease appeared between Snape's eyebrows. "Yes, but still, I wouldn't kill him."

"Of course, you wouldn't, but feel free to dream about getting your hands around the boy's neck. He is a lot like you, Severus. And a lot like Lily. Don't be so quick to judge."

"I am not quick to judge!" he snapped. "And he is nothing like me. I will not accept that as a compliment."

"Interpret it as you please, Severus," said Dumbledore with a sigh.

"That doesn't explain why Quirrell wants to murder Potter."

"Tell me, Severus, when you are around Quirrell, have you ever happened to feel like you are . . . oh, I don't know- being watched? Do you feel something dark? Evil? Something very evil, yet very real?"

Severus gaped. "I-I . . . I haven't really . . . paid attention to something like that . . ."

"Ah, yes, well, the heavy scent of garlic he had makes it hard to concentrate on anything else," he said cheerfully, as though nothing dark had just been said. "Well, that is all. You may go."

And Severus left, feeling very confused.

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"So _I _bravely flicked out _my_ wand and pointed it directly at his chest, and_ I _said to him, "You don't want to mess with _me!". _And of course, the monster surrendered and that's how _I _conquered it."

Flitwick groaned, Sprout rolled her eyes, Minerva gave a sigh, Severus put his hands in his face. Dumbledore, who was just as bored and irritated as the rest, had a bit more courtesy. "Very interesting, Gilderoy."

"Ah yes, well, the most interesting stories are the ones that are true!" he said with a laugh. He took a spoonful of oatmeal and sighed. "Severus, I've been thinking, when the mandrakes have fully matured, I thought that perhaps I could give you a few tips on how to make the potion to help all of those poor, petrified people."

Severus raised his head and looked over at Lockhart, his eyes as deadly as a basilisk's. "I am sure that I can successfully concoct a potion without your aid, Lockhart," he said slowly.

"Suit yourself, Severus," said Lockhart. "But when you realize you just can't do it without me, I'll be willing to help you."

Severus gritted his teeth angrily. He was about to snap back, when McGonagall kicked him in the shin from under the table. He grimaced and gave her a look. "Don't bother," she said. "He isn't worth it."

"You know, if that monster ever dares to show its face in these corridors whilst I am present, I will be the one with the first rein." said Lockhart bravely. "And that will be the last of that monster's days, mark my words! But these attacks are most definitely near their end, for the danger will soon past. After all, once that monster realizes that I am in this castle, he will flee faster than a Nimbus Two Thousand and One at full speed!"

"Oh Minerva, let me have a go at him!" Snape hissed, nearly about to burst.

"Not here! Not in front of the students!" she snapped. "Besides, if you are thinking of finishing him off, then I won't let you!"

"Why not? Don't you hate him?"

"Of course I do! I want to help! You can't have all the fun!" Snape smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Yes, well, Gilderoy, I'm sure we will all need to work _together _if we are to defeat Slytherins monster," said Dumbledore kindly. "It is, as I have concluded, a nasty bit of work."

"Together? Oh no, Headmaster, I will never let danger prevail my fellow colleagues! I would rather die in battle! But my dueling skills are far beyond superior and I have complete faith in myself to finish of the horrific beast!" Lockhart took a breath and a sip of pumpkin juice before continuing. "I have been thinking, Headmaster, that we ought to start up something of the sort of a dueling club. Along with the excellent Defense lessons they have been receiving, some lessons in dueling will most definitely protect them from the dangers that lurk this hall! We cannot afford another attack!"

"Indeed, Gilderoy," said Dumbledore. "That isn't a bad idea, actually. But who would lead it?"

"I was thinking of yours truly, actually," said Lockhart, grinning. "But I would most definitely need an assistant. Someone I could demonstrate my dueling skills on. A hard fight, nothing too easy or I just might kill them!" Minerva nearly chocked on the piece of toast she was chewing.

"Did you have anyone in mind?" asked Dumbledore.

"I was thinking of Professor Snape!" Lockhart's cheery voice rang. Snape looked up at him.

"I decline."

"Oh, Severus, you would be the perfect assistant for Gilderoy." said Dumbledore.

"Headmaster, I have intention whatsoever of being Lockhart's guinea pig. I will not do it."

"I would like you to do it, Severus," said Dumbledore in a tone that basically said "You have to do it.".

Snape nearly flung his knife at Lockhart and said, almost painfully, "Very well."

"Wonderful! I'll give you the schedule in a few days' time!" said Lockhart.

And Severus left, feeling very angry.

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Snape dumped another ingredient into the cauldron. He wiped his forehead and sighed. This was tedious work and he didn't like it.

It wasn't that he didn't like potions. Though he preferred the Dark Arts, potions was enjoyable enough. But there was something about this potion that he disliked.

It wasn't that it was too hard, oh no. No potion was too hard for him. He could concoct anything. He liked a challenge.

It wasn't that he didn't have time to make it. He spent nearly ALL of this time making potions or grading potions or watching other people make potions.

It was why he had to make it.

It was for Lupin. That stupid werewolf was _here _teaching. Severus had always liked teaching at Hogwarts better than being a student there and that was because being at the school as a teacher meant it was Marauder free. Even though a descendent of a Marauder was here, it didn't matter because he had control over him. This was different. It was actually one of them.

Of course, he would have thought it worse if it had been another one of them, but Lupin was the only one who could possibly teach at the school. Black was an escaped convict and Potter and Pettigrew were dead 'heros', both dead due to Black.

But didn't Dumbledore understand that Lupin couldn't be trusted? Lupin's best friend escaped out of Azkaban the exact year he came to teach here. Black had entered the castle once already and who knows how many more times! Lupin was as guilty as Black.

But he wasn't taken seriously.

Instead of listening to his warnings, Dumbledore ignored him and hired the stupid werewolf anyway. Not only that, but now he was making Snape brew some werewolf sanity potion for the idiot too. Somedays, when he was feeling especially angry, he'd potion the batch and nearly bring it to him. But his conscience got the better of him and he'd restart a non-poisoned batch.

Dumbledore thought that the only reason Severus was so upset about the appointment of Lupin was because they hadn't been on good terms at Hogwarts, he was a werewolf that nearly killed Severus, and Severus wanted the Defense job and was jealous. Those were all true, of course, but Severus truly did believe that Lupin was helping Sirius Black into the castle. It would be wonderful to have Black and Lupin in Azkaban _and _Potter and Pettigrew dead. It would be perfect.

Severus stirred the potion and some purple vapor slowly floated out of it. The steam went into his face. He hated the scent of the steam, it was disgusting and he always dashed for the shower after making this potion. He put his head out of the way of the steam and gasped for breath. But the steam slowly filled the room and eventually he had nothing to do but breathe it in and wish the scent of smell never existed.

The potion slowly changed from orange to yellow, yellow to green, green to blue. He knew he had to stop once the potion was navy. He stopped while the potion was turning from blue to black and looked at it. It was bubble free, as it should be. It was the precise color. The steam had disappeared.

Perfection once again.

He ladled a goblet full and sighed.

And Severus left, feeling very distressed.

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Snape scowled as he hurried down the halls of Hogwarts. It was _packed _at the school now. The corridors were usually full to the brim, but now there were triple the amount of of age students wandering the school as well. It was terrible.

There were Karkaroff's clan of boys who wore thick fur coats in 70 degree weather. They seemed to never smile and always be at attention.

And then there was the group of Madame Maxine's girls. They were all very pretty, never a hair out of place, never a wrinkle on their faux jackets or a spot on their baby blue skirts. Most of the Hogwarts and Durmstrang boys would stop and stare if one of the French girls passed by.

He had just been to see Dumbledore. Pomona was there, telling Dumbledore about how she found a Beaxbaton girl and a Hogwarts boy kissing in a corner of greenhouse three. But that wasn't why he had arrived. Dumbledore gave him a note. "Give this to Professor Moody," said Dumbledore. Snape had obliged and left Dumbledore to listen to Sprout babbling about how her greenhouses were for preserving nature, not for hidden make-out sessions.

Severus knocked on the door to Moody's office. There was a grumbling sound and the door opened. Moody appeared, his wand to Snape's neck. "Well, well, well," he whispered. "Looky here. It's Snape. You best not make a move boy. Give me your wand."

"I will do no-"

_"Give me the wand, boy!" _he snapped and Snape quickly gave the mad man his wand. "What's your business here?"

"I have a note." he said, feeling a bit nervous. Moody was one of those wizards who wanted Snape in Azkaban and was severely disappointed when he was ruled not guilty.

"From?"

"The Headmaster."

Moody took his wand off Snape. "Give it to me." Snape handed him the note. Moody gave him a glare and opened the note up. He read it over, licked his lips, and nodded. "Yep. Tell him I said yes."

Snape was about to ask what the note had said, but thought otherwise. Dumbledore would either tell him what it said or tell him it was none of his business. Moody would probably turn him into a bat or something of the sort. "All right," said Snape.

Moody slammed Snape's wand into the palm of his hand. He put his own wand back on Snape's throat.

"Now listen here boy," Moody growled. "You're a God damn criminal and don't think that I don't think that. All of that riffraff Dumbledore's been saying all of these years is bull shit. You're guilty and you know it. If I find one toe out of line, I swear I'll ship you off to the Ministry to await trial so fast that you won't know what hit you. Dumbledore may trust you, boy, but he can be an old fool sometimes." He took his wand off his neck.

"You better watch it."

Then he slammed the door in Snape's face.

And Severus left, feeling very intimidated.

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"I can't believe her!" shrieked Minerva, pacing the staff room angrily. Sprout and Flitwick sat side by side on the couch and Severus sat nearby in an armchair. "Wasn't it enough for her to even _be _here, not to mention write up more Educational Decrees than there are students, start using _physical _punishment, and now, become Headmistress?"

"That's the Ministry for you," squeaked Flitwick glumly.

"What are we to do?" said Pomona.

"The only thing we really can do is stay together, wait for Dumbledore, and . . . hope." said Minerva. "He will come back. He hasn't been at headquarters, though." Though Fillius and Pomona were not Order members, they knew about the Order and shared their beliefs and such.

Pomona tutted. "Who knows, perhaps the Ministry will have her slowly, one by one, sack all of us and replace us with Ministry officials."

"She despises us all," said Flitwick.

"I'm a tick away from probation, so she has an excuse to get rid of me. Hagrid is history, honestly. She hates half-breeds, Fillius, so she'll find some way to get rid of you as well. And she'll probably look for fault in you Pomona. And everyone else." She turned to look at Snape. "Except, perhaps you."

"Why not me?" asked Snape.

"Oh, we all know you're her little favorite. You and Filch. She has connections with Lucius Malfoy, who happens to adore you. You expect her to sack you?"

"I haven't really thought about it."

"There's no need to," said Sprout. "It won't happen. You'll be the only one of us left. Of course, she may decide to make herself Head of all of the Houses, but she won't degrade you any further."

"I honestly don't _want _to be her favorite. Who would want to be the favorite of a toad?"

"I don't know," said Minerva briskly. "But that toad seems to have a liking for bats." Snape glared at her.

"I have no reason to like Dolores Umbridge," said Snape. "And I can't believe she likes me."

"You make her all the Veritaserum she needs," said Flitwick.

"It's not Veritaserum, it's hot water," he said. "Veritaserum is clear and warm. She has no idea it's fake."

Minerva snorted. "I love fooling her. It's what I live for now." She sat down in the armchair next to Snape's. "But Severus," she said quietly. "Seriously. Once she's been rid of all of us, you'll be the only Order member left. When that happens, oh God, Severus, do you know how much of a responsibility you're going to have?"

"I'm sure Dumbledore will remind me over and over again," he said.

"Severus, once we're all gone, you're going to be Hogwarts' only hope."

The door opened and in came Dolores Umbridge. "There you are, Snape!" she said in her falsely sweetened voice. "I need some more Veritaserum."

And Severus left, feeling very confused.

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_Peck, peck, peck! _The owl tapped on the window. Severus was home for the summer, at Spinner's End. He sighed. It was the same letter he got every year after he applied for the Defense job. It was just a blank piece of paper, with the words **DENIED **on it. He opened the window and took the letter from the owl. He opened up the envelope and put it on the coffee table. He unfolded the letter:

**ACCEPTED **

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_That was the most random thing i've ever written! That was weird! I didn't really like it, but that doesn't matter. Number 20 is coming up soon. Ciao!_


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